Who Am I?

Updated on 29.11.16 for a maximum of pleasure :)

In a nutshell, H O N E S T Y is an initiative that makes programs of coaching and development through reflection, taking Intersectionality into account... for each and every one of us'empowerment.

This article is actually an extract of H first Book : From Personal Reflexion... To Collective Reflexion, an invitation to rethink ourselves as Creator of our own Dreams… based on my own life story and personal reflection...
It is linked up with H O N E S T Y, or H, and its biggest Dream and long-term vision is to offer simple and accessible tools, for mental, material and economical empowerment for all. And this is also my personal Dream of Happiness for myself, and Peace for my world…starting with the man in the mirror...

This passage talks about knowledge, and the infinite number of little things that make each of us a unique being... that make each of us an infinite being...

Please share your thoughts and feelings. Please, share around. Thank you.

Adriana aka lil' Didi

*Hint: click on the blue underlined words to find out more about them ;-)

You don't feel like reading all this? Watch and listen to this audio-video version instead ;-)

Bito, A. (2016). From Personal Reflexion... To Collective Reflexion..., Melbourne, VIC: H Book

extract page 94 to 99.

"Wherever our beliefs or knowledge are coming from, they are always questionable. Especially when it is about something we have barely experimented ourselves, like this cousin that I actually didn’t know at all. And, my own experience led me to realize I barely knew what was going on in my own mind. It then forced me to accept that, as Socrates apparently said:

‘TRUE KNOWLEDGE EXISTS IN KNOWING THAT YOU KNOW NOTHING.’

So! We don’t know anything, but we do have needs and thoughts gushing inside of us, right?

That is why I believe, a bit like Descartes with his cogito, that all we actually know is what we think.

Or even better, it is what we feel, perceive and sense: ''I feel therefore I am'.

So, the best we can do, is honestly trust our own experience of life, but also trust others on theirs! It is really important for a group of people interacting, working or living together, to be confident about who is in charge of what, while assuring their own role in the best way. That’s  how I realised that many times in my life I had been overstressed because I felt like I had to know everybody’s knowledge, as much as themselves. Or, at least, try to learn it as fast as they were exposing it to me. Without realising the depth of this knowledge, and most of all, the enormous amount of time responsible for it. Although, all the analyses I made with the Psychotherapist made me realise that the Adriana I am at a given time, is the result of each single second that I have been living and experimenting in my life.

And this is currently getting close to 1 Billion Seconds of life experience...

And my knowledge is not only restricted to what I have been taught at home as a kid and at school as a student. It is also all the air that I have been breathing from different places on the Earth...  

All the sounds, that I have been hearing from my Mum’s wombs, all the way to the feedbacks that I got for this first book I am writing now...

All the lights and things that I have seen, from the first finger in front of my eyes to check my new born sight... To the beautiful Melbournian blue, and sometimes even electrically pink-violet,  sky that I can see clearly now that I am not deep in depression anymore...

All the flavours that I have tasted, despite my very limited gastronomy open mindedness... From the miondo[1] that I used to take with me to kinder garden in Paris, to the Australian vegemite, and these Balinese crackers with fish flavour, that surprised my timid tongue recently...

And yes, this is how far my culinary exploration can go! Don’t even mention the idea of tasting French escargots...

All the invisible data my very sensitive nose could get, from my Sister early breath when we were still used to play dumb and blow in each other’s nose, in the fresh morning... To the amazing smell of my favourite Italian perfume, or even the comforting well-known; and barely conscious; smell of my Mum’s natural perfume... as well as my Lovers one...

All the touch feelings, often impersonal or even slightly violent, like a professional hand-shake or an unwilling push on your sweaty shoulder, in the middle of the Parisian metro during summer...  All the way to the most intimate touch, and the amazing feeling of another human’s hug, with just the right body pressure, after having a very bad day...

All the undefined life experiences that have shaped my vision of the world and that I can barely describe because of their unusual uniqueness...

And just like all those micro-experiences made me aware of the scope depth of my own humanity; my newly aware ‘Flesh Feeling’ experience of Life made me realise how scarce my knowledge of the experiences of other people was.

The more I was realising this, the more I was getting scared of the amount of knowledge I actually didn’t have. It just seemed like instead of improving my situation, I was making it even more difficult to face. But this feeling also allowed me to really understand the importance of taking such a journey with relevant partners that will help you remember why you started it, and where you actually want to go. Because of course, spending hours thinking and rethinking the same things in your head will probably drive you totally crazy... If you don’t share your thoughts with relevant people, who can either make you feel safe enough to just express your mind out loud; or give you the answers to the questions you cannot answer by yourself; mostly because they might actually be part of somebody else expertise.

Because, let’s be clear! For me, getting out of depression doesn’t mean to have no doubt, fear, anxiety, and other unpleasant feelings anymore. It rather means, coming to the realisation that doubt, fear, anxiety and all the ‘weaknesses’ you think you have, are just natural human biological messages that tell you what you need to do better. I thus learnt how to listen to my own emotions and flaws in a way that they now are the actual source of all my strengths and enjoyable, sustainable, successes."

[1] Miondo are very specific Cameroonian side dish made of slim long sticks of mashed cassava. They are characterised by their heavy smell once boiled cooked ready, and by their chewy texture. They’re basically my favourite side dish, a bit like Fries for ‘Classic Western’ kids.

*For more informations on H projects, write to me at musangopaixpeace@gmail.com*

Honestly yours,

Adriana aka lil' Didi

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